Hogwarts Rooftop ~ Spring 2028

Lost. Hollow. Empty. Those were the words to describe Amaranth Viper at this given moment. It was odd, she thought, how a few simple words could impact one's life. Granted, she knew various words and sentences she had spoken in her life had molded it into what it was today, as well as the lives of others. However, she would take back all the negative words she had spoken if the ones uttered to her this day were erased from time. Were erased from her life and reality.

Looking down at the scenery from her vantage point, a small demon whispered into the Head of Slytherins ear... Jump! You know you want to. Who says you have to die in a malestrom of lunacy and agony? Who says you have to succumb to the horror and poison of Huntington's? That horror and poison that flows through your veins at this very moment, gaining power with every breath you take? Who says?

Go on, now... Do it... Break free and fly away... Remember the lullaby you sang to your children? Or have you forgotten that little bit as well? A nightingale in a golden cage, locked inside reality's maze? Who says you have to be the nightingale? Come on now, the cage has been left open. Fly away... Just a few steps and you can fly...

For a brief moment, Viper believed she would actually do it. Take the three steps past the gates of life and death, taking control into her own hands and fly... But logic had kicked it, as well as four damn good reasons why she shouldn't. What were they? Simple: Sevastyan, Lara, Demyan, and Lynn.

It wasn't fair. Had it been any other disease, there might have been some consolation for Viper. Maybe. But Huntingtons... She had seen enough of it to know its cruelty, and the merciless ravages it inflicts unto it's victims. Gone was any prospect of an honorable, dignified death. Oh no, such a thing was beyond the grasp of someone with Huntington's. No, Viper's fate was simple: wait as her mind withered into oblivion, as simple, everyday tasks became a challenge for her, and all hope of recovery or survival faded. Comprehension would dim until it was annihilated and she would wait until death was sweet enough to take her last breath.

As frightning as it was to accept, it was already happening. She was sinking fast now. It was becoming harder and harder to remember potions formulas and ingredients. In fact... there was even one day where she deliberately avoided calling Lynn by her given name, opting to refer to the child as "darling" and "baby". All because for that brief moment, she could not for the life of her recall her youngest child's name.

Viper blinked away tears she hadn't realized were welling in her emerald orbs, reaching to wipe them away, only to find that her face was streaked with many more. Viper definately wasn't a weeper or a fan of self-pity, but she was human. A woman, a witch, a wife, and a mother, who's time on this Earth were fading as rapidly as her mind was deteriorating.

With her destiny in fate's hands, Viper did the only thing she could do, the only thing she felt like doing. Sinking unto the ground, Viper curled into a ball, her back against the stone wall as tears cascaded down her face as she prayed for death and fate to be merciful in their dealings.

Sevastyan followed his wife's familiar, a serpent by the name of Drakon, to the rooftop. He'd had to ask Ethan a mighty big favor in watching over the children while he went to find Amaranth, but thankfully it was a favor accepted without question. And, to his immense gratitude as well, Drakon was able to show him the way. Hogwarts was a massive castle, and the Russian had not a second to waste!

'Vy vould she even think of doing this?!' he asked himself over and over again. True, the affliction she was suffering deteriorated the mind, but she still had a family that loved her. Sevastyan had not been unkind, in his recollections. Had she misinterpreted something he'd said? Something one of the children had uttered? Was it the students? The possible variables made it difficult for him to determine the logic behind her actions.

"Thank you," Sevastyan told Drakon earnestly and headed out the door, hoping against hope that he was not too late...


The breath caught in Sevastyan's lungs at the sight of his wife, alive but sobbing. Was he too late to stop her, or had she decided to not go through with it? She was a potions mistress, after all...

Immediately he made his way towards her and knelt at her side. "Amaranth?!" he asked, a panic and great concern staining his voice and blatantly appearing in his stormy gray eyes. Sevastyan placed a gentle, comforting hand upon her shoulder while the other tried to take one of hers in his. He wanted to scoop her up into his arms, but with her recent habit of flinching whenever he touched her... Sevastyan didn't want to try anything that could result in her accidentally getting hurt.

Viper couldn't be sure of the amount of time that had passed with her standing upon the tower. Her thoughts were centered not on her surroundings, but rather the state of her life. Every important aspect of her life: her family, her friends, her career were fading, dissolved by the poison called Huntington's.

Her diagnosis was nothing new to her. After all, she had learned of her condition roughly a year ago. She had brushed it off, as though it were nothing, continuing her life in sweet, blissfull denial. Until now.

She couldn't be sure of when her life began to collapse around her. All she knew was that it was recent, fast, but with a fury hell itself had yet to know. Memories began to fade and blur, faces lost with time, names nonexistant. All were thoughts she once knew by heart, but were now somehow edited out from her mind.

Her coordination was being impaired more and more everyday. Viper suddenly recalled how a few weeks back, she had picked up her sleeping daughter Lynn up from her comfortable position on the couch, intending to place her in her bed, only to begin to stumble, lose her balance immediately upon rising. It was only a quickly muttered spell that kept her and the young child steady and not crash to the floor.

Viper had forgotten about that incident. Until now. It was rather cruel of fate and Huntington's to allow memories to flash before her mind and at this particular instant: when Viper felt as though she had plunged headfirst into Pandora's Box, but couldn't seem to find the hope promised. It only added insult to injury that the memories flashing before her eyes were in no way of the happy nature, but of recent events centered upon her illness, particulalry the moment of discovery, and the words the Healer had told her concerning her diagnosis.

Huntington's...

Genetic Disorder, particularly common in those with CIPA and purebloods...

No Cure...

Caused by a dominant mutation on either of the two copies of a specific gene, located on an autosomal chromosome...

No Cure...

General lack of coordination and an unsteady gait. As the disease advances, uncoordinated, jerky body movements become more apparent, along with a decline in mental abilities and behavioral and psychiatric problems...

No Cure...

Physical abilities are gradually impeded until coordinated movement becomes very difficult, and mental abilities generally decline into dementia...

No Cure...

Progressing Rapidly, too rapidly, limited time left...

Faulty treatment, more likely to kill than heal...

No Cure

Not to mention what had happened today in her Potions Lab... Oh Merlin, if she hadn't thought there was nothing wrong with her before, today would have grabbed her attention. In the recent weeks her panic had risen, and now, her denial was annihilated as grief and fear began to take over. She couldn't believe what had almost happened. With one snap of her fingers and the entire classroom and Dungeons Area could have been obliterated, killing her and all the innocent students she had been teaching. And all because of her inability to remember even the simplest most dangerous ingredient combination known to all...

The sound of her husband's voice both tore her away from her thoughts and startled her. Had he heard about what nearly ocurred in her classroom? Was that why he was looking for her? She forced her gaze downward, not able or desiring to make eye contact. How could she tell him? How could she tell Sevastyan, this amazing husband, father, wizard, and man that he got rigged? That the woman he fell in love with was fading. Broken...

She flinched upon feeling his hand on her shoulder, a habit that had become rather common with her these past few weeks. As his hand attempted to wrap around her's, she immediately pulled away, feeling both hollow and ashamed. Hollow at the self-denied affectionate contact, and ashamed of her current situation and state.

Viper had always viewed hand-holding as a symbol of support: a gesture between two people, symbolizing that they would be there for the other forever, no matter what. Once upon a time, Viper had adored and treasured these seemingly little gestures between her and her husband, but now... she loathed herself, coming to the conclusion that she didn't deserve such gestures of affection. After all, how could she give Sevastyan the love and support he had always so generously bestowed upon her through all these years, if her future was to die, broken and deranged?

No... she couldn't do that. She couldn't use Sevastyan as her crutch, she couldn't be his anchor, trapping him to this godforsaken life where he would be bound to her and engulfed in her sorrows and misery. No, he and the children deserved more than to be chained to such a future with her being such a burden on them. Sevastyan, Lara, Demyan, and Lynn deserved so much more than Viper could ever give them.

"Y-Yes?" Viper managed in a soft voice, careful to avoid any eye contact with Sevastyan. Hastily, Viper wiped away the tears on her face, demanding that she pull herself together in a desperate attempt to conceal her thoughts and feelings from the man she had once promised she would never lie to.

Sevastyan winced when he had apparently startled his wife. It was the last thing he’d been intending. The lowering of her eyes only made him that much more concerned. Amaranth had been... distant... of late, something that concerned and frustrated the Russian. He hadn’t known about Huntingon’s, let alone his wife having the disorder, until after she’d mentioned it to him. He had sensed a change in her ever since that day, and it worried him.

A mental sigh of irritation went off in his head when Viper flinched, not daring to do so aloud. The jerky movements away from his affectionate advances seemed to be common in recent weeks. How could he love her if she avoided him like the plague? While he knew such motor functions were common with those suffering from Huntington’s, Sevastyan couldn’t help but wonder if it was merely a symptom of the illness or Viper herself shying away from him. Had he done something to upset her and she simply hadn’t said anything? Or was she indeed not in control of her movements as much as she had been?

It was a lot harder to mask the frustration as Viper slipped her hand out of his, forsaking the beloved gesture they’d shared since before their eldest was born. A gesture that was so simple in public yet had a very meaningful private symbology for them. While it wasn’t anything new of late he’d hoped things might have changed at least somewhat back to the way they were before. Sevastyan was just trying to support his wife, show her that he would be there for her in sickness and in health – just as their vows stated when they’d eloped. Sevastyan had not taken them lightly.

The wizard gently lowered himself to sit beside his wife, taking the more dangerous side – the side closest to the ledge. If he weren’t worried for his wife’s safety, he would’ve taken this side simply for the thrill and knowing that a single spell would slow his fall. However, his first and only priority was to be here with Amaranth. For Amaranth.

“Vot are you doing up here? The children and I have been looking for you...” Sevastyan gently murmured the question and reasoning. He raised his hand in an attempt to cup the side of her face and mimic the action of wiping her tears away. Sevastyan wanted to ask what was wrong or if she was alright, but he had a feeling he knew what he would get in response to both of those questions. She wasn’t alright, and there was something wrong. Both answers eventually lead to one thing: Huntington’s.

“Vy are you crying? Who upset you?” Sevastyan asked softly, holding off on further affectionate gestures for the moment. It pained him to just leave the questions at mere words. There was the concern completely engulfing his gray orbs, of course, but Amaranth could not see it if she didn’t look at him.

Right from the moment she and Sevastyan had first met, Viper had always felt a change in her heartbeat. Her heart always seemed to speed up when she sensed he was near, or go into overload whenever their eyes locked, or a ripple of his warm accent escaped him and cadenced towards her.

His effect on her had carried on, intensifying throughout their courtship, and even through their marriage, undiminished and unwavering. Even now after almost a decade of being together, just one look from Sevastyan was enough to make a light blush and smile appear on Viper's face, and butterflies flutter in her abdomen.

However, despite her unending love for Sevastyan, that wasn't the reason for her sped up heartbeat. It was fear. Somehow all the safeness, security and warmth she once felt in Sevastyan's presence had been eliminated, replaced with fear, anxiety, and sheer nervousness, for she no longer felt as though she even deserved or had the right to be with him. That she wasn't good enough.

Viper had always known she wasn't good enough for Sevastyan. He put all the Gods to shame with his kindness, patience, empathy, and generosity. Not to mention his looks! Right from the start, she knew he was beyond her league and yet somehow, he had still noticed her, actually took the time to get to know her, eventually befriending her, and eventually, by some miracle, returned her feelings for him.

And now she had led him to ruin: in his present and future. The treasured vows each had spoken on their elopement Viper held and remembered close to her heart, that had united them, was now seen as nothing more than a chain, binding Sevastyan to Viper’s sinking form, that would pull him down under with her.

It doesn’t have to be… a small voice in Viper’s head uttered. All it takes is a simple signature and he and the children are free…
But I love him… her heart wept.

Yes. And that’s why you have to let him go… her rotting mind countered. He deserves so much more. More than you can ever give him.

Forgive me… Her mind and heart silently pleaded Sevastyan, conveying their message in their owner’s emerald orbs as Viper finally made eye contact.

Once their gaze locked, however, Viper immediately regretted it. She could see the frustration in Sevastyan, and it hurt. Not only because it was her who had caused it, with her constant avoidance of him, but also because, in her mind, it was also a foreshadow of what was to come. The future would bring Sevastyan nothing but frustration, anger, grief, pain, and quite possibly, regret.

No, she couldn't be a sitting duck and wait for that to happen. She couldn't sit around and wait for Sevastyan to realize his mistake. She didn't want him and the children to lose and waste years of their life with her pulling them down under to Hell with her. She couldn't and wouldn't be that selfish. They all deserved so much more than that. So much more than her.

She nodded silently in reply to his question and statement, more tears filling her orbs at the affectionate gesture as she leaned both towards and away at the gesture, her heart and mind conflicting.

"I was just... thinking" she replied in a voice barely above a whisper. While I still can... her mind added.

Furiously she blinked in an effort to dispel her forming tears. "Where are the children? Are they all right?" She asked, taking a sudden interest in her black-painted nails, deliberately looking away from her wrist tattoo, engagement, and wedding rings. She didn't want another reminder of what she would soon lose.

She glanced upwards briefly, immediately regretting it as she noticed the concern illuminating his grey orbs. Not wanting him to be concerned in the least or in anyway burdened by her own troubles she blinked away the tears and forced a smile on her face.

"Nothing. I'm perfectly fine. In fact, I've never been better." she replied in a rather unconvincing voice as she conjured a pack of cigarettes, lighting one and inhaling it sharply, reestablishing a habit she hadn't visited since her time in Finland. Back when she felt as though she had hit rock bottom.

His expression immediately changed upon seeing the plea in her eyes. Sevastyan couldn’t quite tell what it was she was trying to convey. Was she... apologizing? For avoiding him? He couldn’t tolerate the emerald orbs looking so saddened. Suffering of any kind was one of the very last things he’d ever wish upon his own wife, no matter what she did to irk him. The curse of Huntington’s however... Sevastyan wished he knew how to cure the disease, and return his Amaranth to her former self.

But alas... Sevastyan was not perfect or all-knowing.

The Russian’s heart soared yet ached at the conflicting message he’d received. His hand followed her retreat, thumb gently caressing her cheek as he noticed her eyes well with tears. Sevastyan wanted to strangle the reason why his wife was up here crying. At the same time he wished he could read minds without using Legilimency, to know what it was Amaranth had been thinking about. True, it would be sort of prying, but he couldn’t help it. Sevastyan’s intentions were good, at least.

“A penny for your thoughts?” he asked, almost at the exact same time Amaranth inquired about the little ones. The Russian couldn’t help but notice she had avoided his gaze as the question was posed. “The children are fine... I asked Ethan if he vould vatch them for a vhile,” Sevastyan answered warmly. He hadn’t noticed she was looking away from the symbols of love and devotion upon her wrist and the rings upon her finger.

Viper’s forced smile caused Sevastyan to pin up one of his own. However, like his wife, the smile on the outside did not match up with feelings on the inside. “Amaranth... I’ve been married to you for nine years. I think I can tell ven there’s something bothering you,” he chided lightly, watching as she lit up. Sevastyan didn’t mind that she smoked and had taken up the habit again – heck, he smoked from time to time, too – but it still concerned him.

“There’s no need to hide from me... you know this,” he said and shifted himself into a comfortable position beside her. Sevastyan would be much more comfortable if he had his wife curled up onto his lap, but he was actually afraid to attempt such a thing. Afraid of being rejected; avoided. And there was still the danger of the ledge. “I love you and just vant to help,” he added, trying his luck by reaching toward her free hand with one of his own.

While Amaranth had all of her meaningful adornments on one side, Sevastyan had at least one upon both of his: the tattoo and signet ring on his right wrist and hand, and the wedding band on his left. He did not view them or his wedding vows as cold chains with which one would pull the other down, but rather physical evidence of a love shared. Sevastyan couldn’t help but painfully think it slightly diminished, judging by his wife’s distance of late, but it was still there. It beat strongly within his chest, next to his heart. It quickened not unlike a drum-roll when he looked at her, or her at him, going a mile a minute upon even the most subtle of affectionate contact...

... and briefly froze in something like fear upon being denied.

Another pang of pain hit Viper, followed by a wince at Sevastyan's question.

A penny for your thoughts... The same words he had spoken the morning after they admitted their feelings for one another. She knew those words, as well as all the words they had exchanged that day. It was one of the shrinking number of memories as of yet untarnished by the disease.

The corners of her mouth twitched in an attempt at a real smile in regards to Sevastyan's reply to the children's whereabouts. "That was very kind of him. I'm sure the children will love their time with 'Uncle Ethan'. They always have fun with him." she replied in a soft voice.

Viper took another long drag from her cigarette as she watched Sevastyan place the same faux smile upon his face. She tilted her head slightly, using the need to exhale the smoke as an excuse to not make eye contact, though she dropped the box of cigarettes in between them as an offer to Sevastyan, knowing that he smoked as well, on occassion.

She pondered his words, nodding slowly as she fought the tears that had begun to form once more. " I know..." she replied in a tight voice, desperate to keep her emotions at bay.

Deep down in her heart, she knew Sevastyan deserved an explanation. It was inevitable that news of what occured in her classroom would spread throughout the school, so it was only right that Sevastyan heard it from her own mouth.

Taking a deep breath, Viper struggled to find a way to begin. She noticed Sevastyan's hand reaching for her's and wanted nothing more than to reach for it and hold on tightly. On second thought, scratch that. She wanted nothing more than to curl into Sevastyan's lap and chest. And yet... she couldn't. Fear and guilt had taken over, taking the shape of a constant little demon in her mind, poking and prodding her to get away.



"I-I'm quitting. This will be my last year teaching..." she finally admitted in as firm of a voice as she could muster, gathering the scattered bits of her courage to make eye contact with Sevastyan. In a softer, much more vulnerable voice she added, "I can't do it anymore..."

Sevastyan observed every move his wife made, and couldn’t help but wonder why she had winced at his question. She hadn’t done so the first time they became a couple, but then again things were different now. Despite the arrival of Huntington’s, Sevastyan thought it would’ve been a positive change. Perhaps it was her way of flinching from his touch again? For now, he decided to label it as that. The wizard nodded at his wife’s statement. “That they do,” Sevastyan murmured, a memory of the last time they’d asked Ethan and his family to babysit for them coming to mind. Despite how chatty the Herbology professor was, it had to be said that the man knew how to entertain children.

He didn’t pay the lack of eye contact any heed, going with the fact she didn’t want to exhale smoke in his face as the reason for it. The click-clack of something being dropped between them got his attention. Glancing down, Sevastyan couldn’t help but smile with slight sincerity. Slowly he reached down for the pack of cigarettes, taking care to make it seem like he accidentally brushed her thigh while reaching for it. However, it was far from it. “Thank you,” he murmured and selected one from the container. Sevastyan attempted the same action upon bringing the cigarette to his lips, just lightly making contact. Far from the amount of contact he would have liked, but these days Sevastyan would settle for just about any contact no matter how fleeting. Something was better than nothing.

A wandless flame sprung to life at the end of the cigarette and he inhaled. If nothing else, it felt like some sense of normalcy had returned in the fact he was doing something with his wife instead of on his own. However, he refrained from putting an arm around her shoulders for now. Sevastyan didn’t want to spoil his personal moment of triumph by having the love of his life squirm away from him. The first time she’d done it he thought it was a game... it was only after repeated rejections that he realized it was not.

The tightness of Amaranth’s voice was not lost on him. He couldn’t really tell why it was tightened. As his hand was dodged yet again, Sevastyan returned the limb to his lap and looked away, using the exhaling smoke excuse as a reason as well. However, his reason for turning away was due to frustration at being denied. With each passing day – with each shunning of contact, it seemed to the Russian that he would have to learn to live with the emptiness he felt. It was either that or break his vows... neither option seemed very appealing.

When she spoke, Sevastyan snapped out of his thoughts. He clung to her words, knowing that she was speaking directly to him. At the same time he was surprised, but not in a good way. “Qvitting?!” he asked, cigarette bobbing in place between his lips, and scanned her face for answers. “Vot do you mean you can’t do it anymore?” Confusion lined his features. True, the disease preyed upon cognitive function, but he was baffled as to why she would just up and quit.

Knowing he was setting himself up for the role of emotional martyr but not wanting to seem cold, Sevastyan reached for to put his arm around Viper’s shoulders. How could he not comfort – or attempt to comfort – his wife in such a time?

A silent nod was made in reply to Sevastyan’s murmur as Viper thought of their children: Lara, Demyan, and Lynn. Three absolutely perfect children born from her and Sevastyan’s love. She wondered how to explain to them that their world was going to change. Not small, minor changes that may irk them. A rather large one, Viper hoped and felt, would have as smooth of a transition as possible. “We’ll need to tell the children something, soon.” She whispered to her husband in a rather unsteady voice. “Not everything. Just… enough. Enough that they can, hopefully, understand. But not so much that it overwhelms them and traumatizes them.” In a softer voice, she added. “At the very least, I owe them that much…”

The sincere smile on Sevastyan’s face caused Viper to attempt to return gesture, though it ended up looking more like a half-grimace. It felt as though it had been centuries since she had seen Sevastyan smile, and she knew with bitter irritation at herself, that it was her own behavior that was causing Sevastyan misery. She flinched slightly at his touch at her thigh, though she said nothing to remark on it, assuming it was accidental. It hurt her to think that had his touch at her thigh occurred mere months ago, it would have been met with a flirtatious, appreciative half-smile, and half smirk. Not to mention she probably would have returned the gesture, pretending it was entirely accidental. Now all she could do in reply was stay silent, though she shifted slightly as to prevent another accidental brush-up.

It was difficult, not to mention rather nauseating, to have numerous thoughts spinning simultaneously in one’s mind. Part of her wanted nothing more than to curl into Sevastyan’s embrace, and take the solace and comfort he, as always, so generously offered. Yet the other half absolutely forbid her from doing it, forcing her to stay put and keep her hands to herself.

You’re going to be alone for a long time, Amaranth. You might as well get used to it… The demon whispered again, following with a harsh cackle, sending a shiver down Viper’s spine.



“It’s over. I can’t do it anymore. Everyday, it gets harder and harder to remember. Ingredients, properties, formulas, combinations… I-I can’t remember anymore…” she explained, her voice breaking on combinations. She swallowed, attempting to control the waver in her voice. “Did you hear about what occurred at my lab today?” she asked softly, biting her lip nervously, a few more tears making their way down her face.

She noticed his arm making it’s way around her, but for once she didn’t object. Yet, nor did she encourage it, instead opting to leave it be, taking silent comfort in his actions, behind a mask of neutrality.

Sevastyan nodded in agreement to her decision. “They are still so young... but they should know,” he murmured. After a sigh, a small trail of smoke following, he asked, “Vot vould you prefer to have them know? It is your prerogative, after all... and I vill tell them if you don’t vant to.

“... Perhaps that you are sick vould suffice?” the wizard softly suggested, the wince at the word ‘sick’ able to be heard as well as seen. While it seemed appropriate to a child’s mind and speech, Sevastyan really didn’t like referring to his wife in such a way. He inhaled, then turned to exhale the smoke from his cigarette.

The Russian had no idea what to say to his wife as she explained why she was quitting her job as a potions mistress and professor. Though they had been wed nine years, Sevastyan occasionally had a difficult time knowing what to react with. He couldn’t really say he knew how she felt. How could he truly know? Sure: he sometimes forgot a detail or two, but that was different. Forgetfulness was not the same as a condition that toyed with the mind’s ability of recollection. “I am sorry...” he offered, not entirely sure what to say, but didn’t touch. Sevastyan knew she’d only shrink away from him, for whatever reason she deemed herself untouchable. “Perhaps if you kept the information written down somevhere...?” the wizard suggested, trying to help her find some way to prevent her from sacrificing her career. He knew how much the titles meant to her.

Concern started at his eyes and worked outward from there at the quiver in her voice, the biting of her lip, as well as the tears. Saddened because she was clearly upset, Sevastyan shook his head. “I do not believe so. But then again, I do not listen to very much gossip around the castle,” he replied honestly.

He was beyond surprised when Viper allowed him to wrap his arm around her. It was a moment of intense relief. A sigh of pure contentment escaped him at the successful action. ’Yes... finally... I’ve missed this,’ Sevastyan thought, gently squeezing her in an embrace and rubbed her shoulder. Technically, he missed a lot of things they used to do and either didn’t do as often or not at all of late. He didn’t really care that she wasn’t exactly encouraging him. He didn’t care that she was neutral about the contact instead of her formerly affectionate self. All he cared about was that she allowed him to touch her; allowed him to show he still loved her. That was all that mattered.

He could feel a weight upon his soul lifting; an ache he’d been having for the longest time finally receiving a soothing balm. How he wanted to scoot her into his arms and lap and hold her, murmuring words of comfort. But he didn’t, out of respect. It seemed a miracle to him he’d gotten this far since her self-imposed distance. It tortured him to be so close and yet so far from her, and it wasn’t a good kind of torture. Lungs filled themselves with the scent of her hair, for who knew the next time he’d be able to get this near?

“Vot happened in the lab today?” Sevastyan inquired tentatively, and attempted to press his luck by – after having removed the cigarette from his mouth and extinguished it with a spell – leaning toward her for to place a kiss upon her forehead.

Viper stared out into space in silence for a bit, nodding absently. "No... You don't have to go through that trouble. I-I can do it myself, I'll just... take your advice, and tell them that I'm sick..." she replied a bit weakly, mirroring Sevastyan's wince at the word 'sick'. Sick didn't quite seem like an adequate description. Sick was when a healthy person became unhealthy. When they crossed the bridge from happy-go-lucky, to 'screw the world'. Considering she had been born with this defect, Viper thought of herself as never being healthy, but screwed up since conception. A ticking time bomb, if you will.

"It's fine, just... watch over yourself, and the children. Do what serves all of your interests, no matter what." she replied softly, meeting his eyes briefly. Within the emerald orbs was an illumination of a plea, begging to be heard and granted. Even if it would hurt her, like never before...

A dry, hollow laugh escaped her at Sevastyan's suggestion. It wasn't necessarily meant to put-down his idea, but rather a way to try and sort her emotions. It seemed ludicrous to the witch, with painful pangs of irony, that at one point she was able to glance at a page of potions directions for a few seconds, than perform the task exactly as the book described, and now was reduced to possibly having to stick potions post-its around her classroom.

Trying to keep her tears at bay, she shook her head. "As tempting as that offer is, I couldn't. There are far too many details, little intricacies for me to possibly post throughout my classroom. It's far too dangerous. If I teach any longer past the end of term, I'd be giving my students, and quite possibly this whole castle a death sentence..." she replied with a soft sob, her hand quickly wiping away the cascading tears. In a soft voice, she added. "And I couldn't... I-I just couldn't bear it..."

While the birth of her children, her marriage, and good influence from Sevastyan, Viper's attitude and ego had decreased quite a bit to what Viper liked to think was a rather more tolerable level. However, despite the improvements, her ego and pride still stood rather strong, much to the point where it stood as the main reason for her refusal to use post-it reminders. How humiliating would it be to have stood as one of Britain's best Potions Mistresses, and have it publicly broadcasted to all that she was know wholly dependent on scraps of paper?

She took several breaths to calm herself, trying to hold in her emotions look enough to tell her tale, though wavering a bit as tears began to fall. "I-I was with my fifth year class, a-about to brew the Firmitus Avirtrus potion. The ingredients for that include ground up unicorn root, as it is the only way to safely combine it with the infusion of wormwood. If tossed in together, all within fifty feet perish. G-Guess who forgot that little detail?" she asked before all tears emerged full throttle, cascading down her pale face faster than they ever had.

"It's one of the most basic lessons in potion-making. One of the facts that I stress the most in the beginning of the first year's course, and again at the beginning of each year. ...And I forgot..." she whispered in horror, covering her mouth with her hand to in a way stifle her sobs.

It was torture being so close yet so near to Sevastyan, for she wanted nothing more to move over, into his lap, and curl within his embrace, but knew she couldn't. Especially now that she had proved just how dangerous she truly was.

Emerald eyes blinked at the contact, desperately craving more, almost asking for more by leaning into the contact. She opened her mouth to speak...

...but she had no words, for she knew not what to say.

"I-I'm so sorry..." she uttered softly with a sob. Sorry for being a poor wife, sorry for deceiving him, sorry for bringing him down under.

Gray eyes pained at being able to do so little to help his wife merely watched her and took in every feature of her face, even though he knew every millimeter by heart. If he ever went blind he would be able to manufacture her appearance in his mind’s eye with pinpoint accuracy. “I vould do it villingly if you vanted, but I understand. It vould be better for them to hear it from you, anyvay,” he murmured quietly. “I vould do anything for you, provided I had the powver and means to do it...” How Sevastyan wanted to just wish away the illness that plagued his wife. It wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last time it crossed his mind. At her request for him to do what he thought was best for them all, Viper apparently anticipating a worst-case-scenario, the Russian hesitated for a moment but then nodded. Musings of what sort of scenarios were running through his wife’s mind disturbed him to the point of speechlessness. “I-I vill...” Sevastyan trailed off in a whisper.

The wizard mentally shrugged as Viper appeared to laugh off his idea. All he was doing was putting suggestions out there for her, since he knew how intrinsically his wife and the craft of potions were intertwined. He hated the thought of seeing her give up on something she loved, let alone seeing it happen before his very eyes. For a moment he wondered if her distance meant she was giving up on him and the children though hated himself a second later for thinking it. Viper was just independent, Sevastyan berated himself. It would be a crippling blow to her pride and dignity to have to resort to something like that.

When she spoke, explaining the reasons behind the laugh, Sevastyan relaxed the guard he’d placed upon his speech. It killed him to see her so upset. Though she would continue to flinch out of his grasp the wizard decided to just stay near to show his support. “I’m sorry... I vosn’t trying to upset you further,” he offered with sympathy.

"I-I was with my fifth year class, a-about to brew the Firmitus Avirtrus potion. The ingredients for that include ground up unicorn root, as it is the only way to safely combine it with the infusion of wormwood. If tossed in together, all within fifty feet perish. G-Guess who forgot that little detail?

"It's one of the most basic lessons in potion-making. One of the facts that I stress the most in the beginning of the first year's course, and again at the beginning of each year. ...And I forgot..."

“It’s okay...” he whispered urgently, attempting to quell her tears. “If no vone vos hurt, it’s okay... I know it is upsetting but please... calm down. At least no vone vos hurt, right?” Sevastyan had no idea just how upsetting it was to remember something that basic and he knew it. But, he could imagine what Amaranth was going through. It is said the imagination is one’s own best friend and has the potential to be your worst enemy all in one package, and thus the wizard hoped that what his own imagination provided was an exaggeration of what Viper felt... but he doubted that. It was probably worse for her...

That look of horror upon her face did it, and Sevastyan didn’t care if she wouldn’t like what he did next or not. Whenever his children cried like that he was right there, and Sevastyan would be damned before he just sat there and allowed his wife to wallow in similar if not more severe distress! Throwing all caution to the wind he reached around her at the knee and attempted to pull Amaranth into his lap and wrap his arms around her. He was determined to help the love of his life, who had been there during his highs and lows for the past decade, find solace in the only way he knew how to give it.

"I-I'm so sorry..."

“Shhhh...” he urged, wondering what in Merlin’s name she would be apologizing for. Quieting her tears and fears, however, was Sevastyan’s first priority.

Emerald orbs closed, allowing tears to cascade Viper's pale face, delicately contorted in pain. How much more did she have to lose to the demonic forces of Huntington's? Her life was in absolute ruins, her career annihilated, her family torn apart... what more could the world demand from Amaranth Viper? Was Fate waiting until she broke down, pleading on her hands and knees for the sweet, merciful kiss of death to tear apart the chains of hell that now imprisoned her in this godforsaken life? Was that all she had to look forward to know, with the condition that ran traitorously along her veins, fueled everyday? Death after a life gone to regret-filled dust?

“I vould do it villingly if you vanted, but I understand. It vould be better for them to hear it from you, anyvay,”

“I vould do anything for you, provided I had the powver and means to do it...”

“I-I vill...”

A wave of guilt crashed over her, consuming her from within. It was as though she were walking across a frozen lake and the ice beneath her happened to break, surrounded her in an unbearably cold suffocation. Look what she had done... Sevastyan, a man every woman dreamed off, a Prince Charming of perfection in himself who brought a new depth and definition to being a devoted husband and Father. Here he was chained to her, an anchor into the deep abyss.

Her poor children... what would they say if they could see this now? If they could see the failure their Mother had become and the destruction she had cause? They would be ashamed. Utterly ashamed of this pathetic being they had the misfortune to call their Mother. Knowing Viper's luck, they'd probably end up hating her, and wishing they had never been born to her.

She couldn't let that happen. Not to her children, the purest beings in her life. She had to break away now, now that they were young and would be able to forget her. The sooner she strayed from their side, the sooner they could all move on. Maybe, if for once in her life she were lucky, Sevastyan could find another, more perfect being, just like himself, devoid of any demented genetics and the children

That would be the ultimate dream right there, to be able to leave her children and husband into another woman's hands, arms, and heart while Viper wandered off to die alone. Sure, she would be filled with envy and anguish at being replaced by another, but she wouldn't feel guilty for abandoning her children and husband. It would hurt her, yes, but, in her mind, it would heal the damage her existence had released upon her husband and children's lives.

“It’s okay...”

“If no vone vos hurt, it’s okay... I know it is upsetting but please... calm down. At least no vone vos hurt, right?”

"Not yet, they weren't..." Viper replied through her tears, shaking her head. "Who's to say I'll be lucky again? Merlin knows I wasn't so lucky before..." she added with a pain-filled note. Against the will of her broken, bleeding heart, her mind wandered back to the day in January when she lost something she didn't know she had until it was gone from her. The day the saga of her doom had begun and the ridge between her and her family had formed...

What would Sevastyan say if he knew about their innocent child her traitorous, disease-plagued body had abandoned? Would he still cling to his reassurances that no one was injured if he knew his own flesh and blood had been sacrificed due to the demon he had the misfortune to call his wife? Absent-mindedly, her hand went towards the flat abdomen, and testament to her lost child. She would have been more than half-way by now, most likely feeling incessant kicking and movement, just as she had with her last three... Not this hollow emptiness... She stopped her hand halfway, using it instead to wipe away the tears trailing down her face. While Viper knew she had to tell Sevastyan eventually, she felt it had to be done some other time. After all, he already had to deal with the fact that his wife couldn't even brew a simple potion anymore. Dare she burden him with being a murderer as well?

“Shhhh...”

A mix between a gasp and soft cry of anguish escaped Viper as she felt her husband pull her towards him. Reflexively, she leaned into the contact, allowing him to do so, though regretted it instantly, feeling she deserved no such comfort. After all she had done to this wonderful man and how far below she had pulled him under, she couldn't bear to bring him any lower. She had to let him go right now, while he could still be saved. She'd never be able to forgive herself if she allowed Sevastyan's whole life to be ruined because of her. "Please... don't... I-I don't deserve this... n-not after what I've done to you..." she wept softly, trying to pull away.