After the Nightmare, Shadows Call (torture and mature referneces, Reader discretion advised )

Kiara lay in bed, sleeping though not at all peacefully. Her hands clutched the blankets tightly, so tight her knuckles were turning white. She face was tight as if in pain, and her breathing was deep, but gaining rapidness and coming out short. She was in the mists of a nightmare.. and a common nightmare at that. Ever since her abduction by Charles Delanquar two weeks earlier, her sleep was plagued by the memories of the happening.

Kiara had still up to this point refuse to talk about what had happened, believing her family knew too much about what happened anyway. They knew she'd been tortured and it had been quite effective on her.. if Ell hadn't helped her out.. She doubted her ever would have. And most importantly she was ashamed she had been so helpless.. so useless.. she dared not speak of it to her loved ones.

"No!" she muttered in her sleep thrashing slightly on the bed. Flashes of Tav, Ciaran, Edan and Rossa all suffering flashed through her mind, each new flash was transitioned by a sting of a whip or the burn of the cursed acidic potion .

Voice's chaotic murmurs clouded her head asking if she wanted Death, and Merlin she did, the pain was almost too much.. but she knew she couldn't. Hisses of pain escaped her tightly closed mouth and she thrashed again as if she'd been struck.

"I will not..." she muttered though it was more of a whisper of defiance.

Then a part scream escaped her mouth in a sudden breath, only to be muffled by covering her face with her hands and blankets... "No! no no no! Please anything but that! Please no..." she pleaded with the unheard voice of Charles Delanquar.

Her breaths came out in gasps now and tears escaped her tightly shut eyes.. her nightmare was nearing the climax her body trembled with fear, tears soaked her eyes and her mouth muttered the word No over and over again until.

"No.. Please I... I.. can't.. I..." she paused a moment as a frnatic look came over her face "CIARAN!" she yelled her beloved husband's name in distress as she bolted up from the bed.. The image of Charles advance on her still flashing before her eyes even as she entered the waking world once again..

Usually Ciaran laid to his wife's left; but since her injuries and slow recovery, he had been using the guest room. Or at least he was suppose to be using it. Most nights he had sat next to her bed, falling asleep in a chair. After coming so close to losing his wife, it was difficult for him to be away from her. For her he'd always attempted to be there; caring and patient.
Now he was in the loo, sitting in the corner as he listened to the most horrible sounds his ears could imagine. Every part of him wanted to hurry to her side, hold her in his arms and soothe the pain away. But it had also been stressed that Kiara needed rest and he didn't want to interfere with that.
"No! no no no! Please anything but that! Please no..."
He unfolded his stiff legs and stood up. She was obviously not getting any rest anyway; as her frightened words revealed. He'd had nightmares about all the possibilities of what his wife had gone through.
It was full torture to hear her reliving it. Tears filled his eyes and he grabbed the nearest towel.
'Go to her'. He felt something touch his shoulder just as he heard his name screamed from the bedroom. The former far outweighed the first and he ran into the room.
"Kiara." he gently shook her, not wanting to hurt her. She was sitting up and shaking; looking as though some horror was playing before her glazed eyes. "I've got ya, love." he murmured, holding her the best he could. "Wake up... it's over."

Kiara stiffened at her husbands hold, only partly out of her plauged nightmare, however after afew moments she seemed to snap herself out of it, and the ghost of Charles was replaced thankfully with Ciaran. She placed her head defeatedly on his shoulder.

"Damn it" she whispered realizing her nightmare had taken over her again. It was one thing to relive it. It was another to know her husband whatched her relive it.

"I am sorry love, Did I wake you?" she asked wipping her eyes of tears and taking afew breaths to calm herself. She make herself appear to recover from nightmare fairly quickly, it was the best she could do in case one of her children wittnessed her..

Ciaran gently rubbed her shoulders, remembering the horrendous cuts that were no doubt still sore, even as they were healing. Tears coursed down his cheeks as he shifted onto the bed to hold her better.
"Hush, Ara." he muttered. "There's nothing to be sorry for. It's okay." He pulled back slightly, cupping her wet chin. "Don't do that." He watched as she tried to pull herself together. "We can share the truth between us. I love you." he gave her his best attempt at a smile and kissed the corner of her mouth.

Kiara blinked and looked at her husband, noting the tears on his face after the mere sight of her after a nightmare. She couldn't tell him the horrors she'd been through.. pariticularly one especailly that was the one the haunter her the most.

"And I love you... but for you to know what happened.. it would only bring more needless pain... which this house has enough of" she said gently trying to wip his tears away much like he did hers, he had to understand.

"I was powerless... that all you need to know" she said and there was shame in her voice to even admit that..

"Or maybe it'll help ya with yar pain, love." he felt lost, looking into her sad eyes. All he wanted to do was take all her pain away, making everything perfect. Or at least better. But that wasn't possible and he knew it.
Suddenly he didn't know what to say... what to do or anything.
"We all have our limits to power." he murmured. "I should have been there... to save ya." His voice cracked as his thumb traced the edge of her cheek. "I'm the one that's sorry."

There it was, the other reason she didn't want to say what happened, Ciaran had this complex about him.. that he had to protect her from the world, and when he couldn't do it he blamed himself.

She caught his hand that traced her cheek and pressed it against her mouth kissing it and savoring the warmth of his hand. "Don't blame yourself love, please?"

She remembered the morning it happened, Ciaran had been so tired from making sure they were all safe at night that he fell asleep while getting read to leave that morning. She had put him back to bed to rest, kissed him good bye and spelled a simple note on the door saying, for him to rest well and they would be back in a few hours..

"You can not protect me all the time Ciaran, it is not humanly possible.. I do believe you told me that when I tried to protect you and Tav when the purgers first made their threats.." She recalled she had wanted Tav to stay at hogwarts where she could keep him safe.. but to cooped up.. it was no way to live.

"Things happen Love" she whispered traceing his forehead.

He drank in the smallest of warmth her formerly cold hand gave out as it touched his own. Her words pierced his heart, because he didn't know of any way to not blame himself.
"As ya wish." he nodded, eager to please her. Anything to help her with her pain. He knew she was right as she continued. But the truth often did little to help the situation. It was true that Kiara's pain was impossible for him to take on himself... and it was true that he would blame himself for the rest of his life.
"I know. I just, don't know what else ta do, love. I love ya too much ta just say that I give up. I swore..." he trailed off, smiling sadly. "Never mind. Just promise me, ya'll never be sorry. It wasn't yar fault."

A small smile graced Kiara's lips as she listened to Ciaran, she shook her head and kissed him again. "Oh love, what would I do without you?" she asked quietly, though she feared the day if she had to find out.

"Look at us, why don't we blame Charles for the whole mess" she muttered saying the mans name with venom. She traced one of scars that made its ugly way up to her shoulder. They were healed for the most part.. though some times pain would shoot out of them and the scars refused to fade.. leaving the uneeded reminder.

".. The thought of you and the children kept me going through it all.." she confessed

It hurt him to think that someday, she might have to see that question come to life.
'Charles...' his mind had said the name over and over again, cursing it every time it came up. He didn't hate easily; but he hated that man with every part of his being. It wouldn't bother him one bit to crush him with every curse he knew.
"Good idea..." he whispered, gathering her hands together and kissing them. "We'll shove it on him and let it drown him. Okay." he kissed her hands again.
Her confession helped him; even if it was only slightly. It comforted him to know that in her mind, he had been there with her, hopefully helping. He nodded, unable to say anything.

Kiara looked over to him thinking and it suddenly occuring that he must have been living through a hell as she slowly recovered. Sleeping in the guestroom or on a chair beside her.. she wondered if he knew what went happened to her in the hands of Charles or not..

The whipping she could handle.. even the mental torture, she could handle cause she always had a voice in her head saying it wasn't really happeneing.. it was a illusion.. But.. the rape.. that had pushed her over the edge.. where she would scream for Ciaran's aid even though she knew damn well he couldn't come.. well at least in her nightmares he could pull her out of them.

She let a breath out in bliss of his kiss and gentle warm touch, "Sleep here with me tonight love?" she asked soflty her finger moving over his cheek. "No matter what happenes.. your love will always keep me going. that I can promise" she said.

Without a word, he charmed the door closed and climbed from the side of the bed into his usual spot. He wanted to ask if she was sure; but knew she wouldn't have asked if she wasn't.
He cuddled her beside him, holding her as gently as he could without loosening the secure embrace.
"I promise, as well." he whispered. "Do ya remember those poems I used ta tell ya? Like when I asked far yar hand and our wedding?" he knew she remembered... he just wanted those memories to come to her mind.

Kiara felt comfort in the warmth that followed her request, trying to forget the horribe topic that they were on. She nodded her head remembering the wonderful poems the melted her soul whenever he recited them to her.

"Yes I remember love" she whispered gently running her finger through his read hair taking his form in.

"It has always been the sweetest thing anyone has ever done" she said softly a smile forming on her face.

"Good... let's use those memories for good dreams tonight." he pulled the covers comfortably around them and began whispering the words of her favourite song. He hoped it would lull her to sleep. "I love ya, darlin."


The next morning, Ciaran left Kiara briefly to get some breakfast for them. With the tray set with Kiara's favourites and some light tea, he was all set to head back up, when an owl tapped on the window. Hoping it was a note from his son, Ciaran hurried over and took the note. By the immediate retreat of the bird, he changed his mind about wanting to read the crimson letter. He stared at it; noticing the strange smell that emitted from the paper. It smelt burnt.
He turned it over, his teeth clenching at the name burnt into the front. It was addressed to him... but the name above it, was the very name he had decided to hate more than anything else.
Shaking fingers ripped open the letter and he held up the damp page. A flowing script began in a nearly feminine hand, making him wonder if perhaps Charles wife had written it. As he began to read, he hoped she hadn't...

After having given you and your family such an extended time to rest; it came to my attention that I was being rather rude by not doing a followup to see how my little niece is doing. From last I heard, she is doing lovely. Did she tell you of the lovely time we shared? Although I'm sure you will be delighted to hear that your name rather than my own was used. Ah, the throes of passion... but then I'd imagine that the little headmistress stayed rather mum. Well, you know what they say; like mother like daughter. My only regret is that Kiara's own daughter wasn't present to join us.

Give my love to Kiara,
Charles

The tears began long before the letter ended and he collapsed against the table, sobbing into his arms. His worst nightmare had become a reality. Kiara's worse injury had not been her injuries... it had been far worse.

Rossa crept out of her room that morning, hungry and fairly bored. The newly turned 9 year old padded down the hall and past her parents bedroom and by chance noticed her mother slipping a robe on after just waking up. She bit her lip, wondering if her mother was feeling better. She'd been told her mother was having bad dreams from the bad man the had taken her some weeks earlier. She heard her mother scream sometimes... The scared her as well, she never ever heard her mother scream before this...

"Mummy? you feeling better?" she asked quietly as she stepped into the room wearing a pink cotton nightgown that had a big white cat on the front.

Kiara smiled slightly, "Yes sweetheart, a lot better thanks to you Daddy lastnight" she said soflty.

"Where is Daddy?" she asked having becoming used to seeing her dad by her mums Side lately.. since it happened.

Kiara nodded toward the door downstaires. "Think he went to get breakfast, likely in the kitchen getting it ready... was just going to wash up a bit and head down to see if he wanted help" she said already running a brush through her long black hair..

"Hmm I'll go see to!" Rossa declared quickly hugging her mothers waist, "I am glad your happier again mum" she said before letting go and making her way downstaires.

Kiara smiled "So am I" she said putting her hair into a braid.

--

Rossa padded on her bare feet to the kitchen smiling as she smalled food coming out of the kitchen. However as she entered and saw her father sobbing on the kitchen table, her eyes widened as she continued on cautiously.

"Daddy?..." she whispered walking up to him. "Whats wrong? should I get Mum?" she asked fear creeping into her voice.. her father only cried like that if something horrible happened.

"Daddy?"

Ciaran lifted his head quickly, suddenly terrified that his little girl would see the horrible letter... that Kiara would see it. That sweet little voice wasn't suppose to sound so frightened.
"No, darlin. No. I'm fine." he assured her, rubbing his puffy eyes with the back of his sleeve. "Nothin's wrong." hardly the best choice of words, but he wasn't thinking through that. All that crossed his mind at the moment was one thing. Charles DeLanquar was a dead man. He didn't care what he had to do or where he had to go... That bastard was going to suffer and die for what he'd done to his lovely wife. For why his depraved mind had imagined with Rossa... he'd kill him. "Here." he picked up the tray and handed it to Rossa. "Take this to yar mum and tell her I'm goin ta see Tav." he kissed her on the forehead and headed for the door. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where he was going. Wand in clenched fist, he began going through every torture spell he knew from his days as an auror.

Rossa was not concidered the most sensitive child in the house for nothing, her Dad a horrible look in his eyes, and something was deffinatly wrong, he had never seen him look so.. she wasn't sure the word to discribe it but it gave her a horrible feeling at the pit of her stomach.

Forgetting about the tray of food, Rossa moved as fast as she could after her father almost tripping over her feet in the process.

"Daddy!? Wait! whats happened? Something is wrong I can feel it' she said tears forming in her eyes. She didn't know what it was, but she could feel it.

Kiara was just walking out the bedroom when she heard he daughters words, and they caused her to hurry down the stairs, causeing her robe to flow behind her.

"Love? Rose-honey whats the matter?" she asked concern in her voice.

Ciaran had nearly made it to the gate before he heard Rossa calling after him. He wanted to ignore her and continue on; but the father in him couldn't take another step. His eyes filled with tears and he hurried back to her, scooping her up into his arms. It wasn't fair that all of this had to be witnessed by his little girl.
"I'm so sorry, darlin rose." he whispered. "I'm na going. I'm right here." he promised, giving her a weak smile . "I promise."

"Love? Rose-honey whats the matter?"
His eyes went to the stairs; nearly stopping his poor heart as he focused on his wife.
"Kiara..." he murmured, moving slowly to her side, still holding Rossa. "I'm sorry. I just..." he just what? Reacted to a horrible letter from a devil... sought out to kill the damned pig. What was he going to say to his wife... much less his daughter.

Rossa sighed in relief that her father wasn't leaveing and she still confused over what happened but for the moment she could let her curiousity slide. She kissed his cheek which was still wet with tears but she didn't mind, made her all the more content to simply wrap her arms around his neck and stay there.

"Thank you Daddy" she said not bothering to say how frightended she had nearly become.

Kiara blinked still looking concerned, he had been fine earlier, his usual self really.. when did this happen? what had happened to make Rossa sound so frantic over him leaving?

She wipped his cheek with her thumb, and glanced at Rossa who was still holding on to her father. "just what dear? whats wrong?" she asked feeling like she was missing something..

Oddly enough the next words that came to Ciaran's mind were those famous ones from Hamlet... and they didn't help in the least. There was no escape; Rossa was nestled, thankfully now calmer in his arms and Kiara was sweetly asking for him to continue the nonsense he'd began. He truly had leapt from the frying pan into the roaring flame.
"Rossa, can ya do something for me?" he asked softly, setting her down, but still partially holding her as he knelt. "Go ta yar room and play for a bit. Mummy and Daddy have ta talk for a bit. It'll just be a wee time, I promise." It was going to be hard enough explaining the letter to Kiara; Rossa couldn't be there... it would crush him.

Rossa nodded to her father and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek "Okay Daddy" she said being old enough to know she was to young to know what the topic of dicussion was. She gave kiara a quick hug and padded up the stairs. "Love you" she called behind her as she climed.

Once at the top she sighed and wondered what to do until her parent sorted out whatever freaked he Dad out so much. She walked over to Edans room and knocked wondering he was awake yet.

__

Kiara sighed as Rossa went back upstairs, she was dreading what happened now for it wasn't meant for Rossa's ears.. She already didn't like it.

She took his hand and gave it a squeeze in support for him to continue, she wouldn't ask what was the matter again.. no need to push now.

"Alright, whenever your ready Love" she said softly.

"Go away, I'm asleep." A sleepy voice called from inside Edan's room. He had no intentions of getting up unless dragged out of bed and given waffles... he's gone to bed too late the night before and he was, in a word, pooped. Still, thinking it might be his mum, his eyes sprang open and he rushed to the door. "Rossa?" he whined, seeing it was his sister. "It's too early."

---

He would never say anything if he waited till he was ready; so Ciaran just said it as gently as he could.
"Charles sent me a letter..."

Rossa pouted her brother was such a sleepy head, "is not sleepy head" she said. Though she could probably guess he hadn't gotten much sleep, she wondered if there mums screams from her nightmares kept him up at night to..

"Wanted to see if you wanted to watch a movie or play something... Mum and Dad are talking downstaires... no kids allowed type talking.. Something freaked Dad out a bit again.." she explained, basically saying they were stuck upstaires for a bit.

_

Kiara paled the moment he mentioned Charles wroke a letter... those were tabood things all on there own. "Where is it?" she asked a quiver in her voice.. she wanted to read it... yet she didn't. Either another on of her family was killed and Charles wanted to gloat.. or it was something else she feared. She wanted to know.. she had to know...

"Please merlin..." she whispered and trailed of before turning her focus back to her husband.

"What did it say?" she asked her fist already held in a tight ball.

Edan lost interest in sleep around the same time his sister mentioned his father being 'freaked out'... that was never the right phrase to use about either of his parents and he became worried fast. Part of him wanted to go check on the conversation, but the other part knew he wasn't suppose to.
"Okay, sure, you pick the movie." he muttered, motioning her into his bedroom. His tv was still on, muted.

--

Ciaran gently tucked an arm around his wife, worried when the blood drained from her face. He shouldn't have told her and he knew it.
"Ya don't want to read it, love... trust me." he murmured. "It was awful. The man's a satanic prig." But then again, he didn't need to tell her what it said; he had a feeling, she already knew.

Rossa nodded "Thanks" she said walking in not really sure what movie to watch, she looked at them for a moment. A funny one didn't seem right.. it didn't mix well with the thick atmostphere coming up from the staires. "you couldn't sleep last night either?"she asked quietly still looking through the movies.

"Lord of the Rings" She asked.

___

Kiara looked Ciaran in the eyes, and somehow she knew. With fire in her eyes she held out her hand, shaking though it maybe she summoned the letter from the kitchen. She barely scimmed over the letter to know what it entailed, however she did see the part mentioning Rossa. It was here she started to rip and burn the cursed thing.

"That Evil, disgusting, sick, bastard" she cursed as she ripped the letter. Tear trailed down her eyes. After everything she went through to cover that part up on what he did to her.. Sheild Ciaran from that knowledge and pain... and Charles dangled it in front of his face, and even had the nerve to put Rossa into it...

"Damn it" she said in defeat. She looked at Ciaran not knowing what to say, as she never intended him to find out. And she felt all the more Dirty now that Ciaran know the truth.

"I don't know what to tell you love... I never wanted you to know.." she covering her face with her hands.