[Helsinki, Finland] Kuolema Potions Lab [February 2019]

She had finally achieved her lifelong dream: not only was she back into the Potions Laboratory Scene, but she was the sole head of the entire department. How long had she dreamt to be where she was now? How long had she worked herself to utter exhaustion to get one step closer? How long had she dreamt, worked, prayed, and fought to accomplish and gain all she had received? She should be happy. Beyond happy, in fact, for her life's work had finally blossomed into an eternal rose that would neither wither nor fade. However, despite all she had accomplished, it all meant nothing to the witch, for what she yearned for the most was now stolen from her. Stolen, ripped, and orn away from the bleeding, broken shards of her heart.

Over and over again, she ran the memories through her mind, wondering what she had done, what she had failed to do, wondering why Sevastyan's gaze had diverted from her towards another; and a student at that. Had he finally grown tired of her and found her to be no more than a dull nuisance? Had he truly fallen out of love with her, assuming he was ever in love with her to begin with, and in love with Mademoiselle Lasharna? Had he realized what Viper had known from the very beginning? That he was beyond her league and she was nowhere near good enough for him?

She wasn't sure which solution she hoped for, or if there was even such a thing, for regardless of the circumstances, the result was the same. Either way she stood alone and heartbroken, yearning for Sevastyan, and at the same time, loathing his very being.

How she loathed him for deceiving her. How she loathed him for making her appear a fool to all of Hogwarts. She loathed him for somehow being able to look into the depths of her soul, connecting with her in a way she never had with any other, for she shunned such emotionally connection with everyone from her past, only to betray her in a way only a man can to a woman who loved him so deeply. She loathed him, along with herself, for still loving him despite all the pain he made her feel with only his mere memories.

Everyday the pain would grow and strengthen, sending wave after wave of pain engulfing her body. Each night, after hours of smoking and drinking herself to near unconsciousness in an effort to numb the pain of rejection and heartache, she would dream of him. She would dream of the seemingly distant past, images of her nestled safely within his warm embrace with whispered affection cascading over her entwining within the depths of her soul. She would dream of a future, lost by the wrath of the present and revenge of misery and loneliness. She would almost feel his tender touch and loving kisses during the hours of the night, and weep silent tears of agony, knowing that she had lost all that ever truly mattered to her. When the sun rose again, revealing that once again, like all the other days of her past, and the days to come in her future, she was alone.

A wise person once said "What nourishes thou also destroys thee." An ironic statement in itself, for the moment Sevastyan had opened her soul and saw who she was, entwining his heart with her's, the moment he was gone and she had fled, she had naught but a hole; a toxin of loneliness and heartache, consuming her with no antidote whatsoever.

She walks a lonely road, the only one that she has ever known. She knows not where it goes, but knows it is home to her and til the end of it all, she'll walk alone. Her shadow is all that walks beside her broken heart is all that beats. She prays for someone to find her, but knows she is destined to do as she once wished: to live solely for her career, rising through the ranks into eternity. Alone.